Hieroglyphics
by NexusTehULF0o
Summary: Not exactly easy to decode. An easy comparison to the feelings that plagued them both. Sheelos. Oneshot.


**Title: Hieroglyphics **

**Author: NexustehULF0o**

**Description: Not exactly easy to decode. An easy comparison to the feelings that plagued them both. Sheelos. Oneshot.**

**Rating: T**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS FIC EXCEPT THE FIC ITSELF. You know the drill. XP**

**  
Nexus: SO! I was talking to ~Sheena Fujibayashi (The member, although I would very much enjoy a conversation with the ninja herself) and told her that I haven't had an idea this good in a long while, although a difficult idea, but a good one nonetheless…It's more about the structure of the story than the story itself. Anyway, I hope that this lives up to your expectations! :D**

**So is being dumb and not letting me put multiple paragraph lines, SO. The S's and Z's are changes in PoV. The Page lines, however, are for past and present tense changes.  
**

**

* * *

**

It was rather cold that night. The waning gibbous hanging in the dark sky shone in through the window of the small, plainly-decorated hotel room, stars and grayish clouds dotting the black backdrop as if placed there in some indiscriminate order. An early winter breeze blew in from the window, ruffling the crimson-colored curtains and shading her from the glow of the only source of light in the room for a bit more than a minute.

Her eyelids were heavy and slid shut for a moment, which stretched into two moments, which droned on into three…

And then snapped to full attentiveness once more.

She simply could not give in to such exhaustion, no matter how much she needed to. She widened her eyes, refusing to sleep; refusing to crawl into the hotel's comfortable, yet unfamiliar bed and drift off into wistful dreams of…

She shook her head furiously, forcing the thought from her head.

_How can I decide what's right…when you're clouding up my mind?_ She thought, bunching her knees close to her chest before resting her chin against her arms that were leaned against them. Sighing regretfully, she looked away from the window. It was the fourth time this week she'd rebutted against her fatigue to drive wild thoughts from her subconscious. She couldn't win his losing fight all the time.

The only way to keep him from her was anger, but to feign fury would only conjure heartbreak…for him and for her. But with her life in such a shape, it seemed like the only thing to do.

Standing, she left the room.

-s-z-s-z-s-z-s-z-

He couldn't ever own what was his…

The heat from the fire licked his face, and he dreamt for a brief minute, pretending that he weren't so alone.

Lounging on the couch in his parlor by himself wasn't the best idea he'd come up with. And with the weather so cold outside, he couldn't do anything else. Sebastian had retired to his room for the night – after all, it was late, and he would have to be up early in the morning to ward off all of the adoring fans storming the front door. Sebastian had been the only one ever awake for that, but he could tell that it would be anything but fun.

Seles and Tokunaga, after being in town for the annual Festival of Mana a few weeks back – had returned to the Abbey a few days ago in order to gather their things before moving in with him in Meltokio.

So right now, he was unaccompanied - during one of the many nights he couldn't sleep soundly. And there was only one reason why.

But he couldn't tell her. Dare he say it…he was frightened. And now she was probably never coming back. He couldn't handle that. After she'd left once…he'd tried to keep her close…but she shied away again – keeping them at arm's length.

But maybe it wasn't _her_ that was keeping them at arm's length. Maybe it was _him_. Maybe he was so scared of actually getting _involved _with someone that, knowing the way she would act, tried to drive her further and further away from him.

She was always taking sides. Not once was it his side that she was on - but was that the way he wanted it to be? He wasn't sure anymore.

No. He had wondered enough. Frightened or not…it had to be done.

She wouldn't take away his pride. No…not this time.

He rose to his feet.

-s-z-s-z-s-z-s-z-

"How did we get here? When I used to know you so well…"

He remembered her screaming those exact words as he trudged purposefully through the light snowdrift ensuing outside. He remembered her fists balling up at her sides while watching the tears stream delicately from her eyes and wishing he could act the same way around her that he could around his 'hunnies' without this happening every time. But he never could. She was different. He knew that she didn't deserve to be treated like them.

She deserved so much more.

She'd continued on, but he didn't hear any of it. He simply kept his eyes upon her enraged, sobbing face, blaming himself for everything he'd said, and everything he'd failed to say.

He couldn't even remember what the argument was about – he wasn't even sure it was really an argument. But it never really was. He would make a demeaning comment or make a simple pass at her, as he'd done since the first day they'd met…and she would _flip. _And not like the "Stupid Chosen!" routine he was used to.

See, Sheena had spent the past couple months in Meltokio working for the King of Tethe'alla. She had been donned "Emissary of Peace" between worlds Sylvarant and Tethe'alla, but now that they had finished all that, the monarch was simply milking her for information. He wanted to know of Sylvaranti activities and escapades, using her powers as Chief of Mizuho to send scouts to prowl around. And Sheena _had _to obey the King's orders.

You couldn't blame her for being sick of it.

But that gave her time to think. It gave her time to react to what she would have played off during the Journey of World Regeneration. So, after doing something wrong or annoying, she would degrade him for several turns of the hourglass, each time bringing up new and old topics alike. But he always did the same thing - watch her mouth move until she was calm and still. He would reassure her that it would never happen again - to appease her, if nothing else. She wouldn't forgive him, but she would brush him off and leave him alone. And things would be silent and detached between them for a few days before there was an unspoken mutual apology so things would return to the way they had been. But as soon as his "alter ego" had an opportunity to rear its ugly head again, it took it, without any consideration as to whom it was he was speaking or what was being spoken of.

Was this his subconscious? No. He knew when it happened, although he couldn't stop himself from doing it. It was…self-assuring. He needed to do it for himself - to reassure himself that no one would ever be close to the real him.

Sometimes, his truths and falsities meant more to him that Sheena did. But he would never, _ever _admit to that.

-s-z-s-z-s-z-s-z-

How did they get here?

She stepped indignantly through the snow, regardless of whether it chilled her to the bone or not. She hadn't thought about putting on warmer clothes, or stopped to think about whether she should really do this. She was losing sleep over him. She lost _her life _over him. So she drew the line. She needed to cut away from him completely – it was the only way that her life was going to be normal again.

After she'd returned to Mizuho after the Journey of Regeneration, she'd had a taste of the normal life she'd once had…she couldn't remember it now, but it was there – the calmness, the normality of it all. But when he was involved, one way or another, all familiarity left, and she delved into something unusual and…frightening. It felt different than everything she ever experienced. But was that good thing or a bad thing?

…

Did she really know the answer to such a question…?

She shook her head again and pressed on through the snow. Of course she did.

_Well, I think I know...._

* * *

She'd made eye contact with him when she was angry with him. She wanted him to know exactly what she was feeling. She wanted to transfer the anger into him – to give him all the pain she was experiencing - the absolute _fury _that she could contain no longer. The truth was hiding in those eyes. She saw it, although she could never pinpoint what it was. She could always tell that there was something underneath his empty apologies and blank stares. Some sort of truth that would, if she knew, most likely scare the devil out of her. But she didn't know. His eyes didn't say that much.

-s-z-s-z-s-z-s-z-

_Tell her._

It was hanging on his tongue.

_Tell her! _

In the midst of all the screaming, ranting, and carrying on, he thought about stopping her, about grabbing her hands and quieting her down. He imagined his explanation, telling her everything. But he'd never told anyone EVERYTHING before.

He'd envisioned professing his ardent love for her right then and there. He doubted she would believe him, but he had to say it. He needed to get it off of his chest before she left and he'd lost her once again.

"Sheena, I…"

"I don't want to hear it, Zelos; I don't want to hear anything anymore!" She raised her hand and quieted him, and he figured that if she didn't want to hear it, that he might as well not even bother.

And so he'd retreated into the safety of silence.

* * *

He could feel the words boiling in his blood now, as he stepped through the ever-growing snow on the ground, sloshing into his boots and catching themselves in his wild scarlet locks of hair. He needed to say them to her, before she could leave him. She did seem pretty angry, after all – he'd been unsure if she'd ever return.

But now…he would just tell her. Possibly in a passive tone – he wouldn't even need to pause to think it over. He would just slip it into their opening conversation. She wouldn't even need to hear it. And if she perchance _did _hear such a thing, he would simply pass it off as a slip of the tongue. He would leave the ball in her court – if she truly _believed_ he'd said what she actually thought he'd said, than it would be up to _her_ to act upon it. With a grin, he knew this could be the best plan he'd ever come up with.

But he would never expect anything less from the great Zelos Wilder himself.

* * *

"But you think that I can't see what kind of man that you are…if…if you're a man at all!" She'd exclaimed, pointing accusingly at him. He'd stepped backward, an ashamed, wounded look staining his face.

"Sheena…" He'd started in a soothing voice, trying to see if there was any way that they could talk normally. He submissively looked away from her, as if to tell her he was through with fighting. And even then, he could feel her stare hot on his face. He'd began again when he'd accidentally bumped into an end table in the living room of his mansion. "Sheena, wait…I don't think you understand…"

"I don't understand, huh…?" She asked, although satire drowned her voice, turning away from him. "Well, I'll figure this one out on my own!" She slammed the door, leaving Zelos alone in the room. And he'd stood there…for the remainder of the night.

* * *

Even now, his mind continued screaming _I love you so…_

"On my own…!" The words echoed into the recesses of his memory as he stopped, the cold snow infiltrating his boots and the chill bristling the hair on his arms. He looked up into the foggy night sky, clouded by snowflakes floating downward.

But his thoughts she couldn't decode.

"How did we get here? When I used to know you so well…" He repeated her words to himself while trudging through the snowfall. He glanced downward, watching his yellow-toed boots sink into the white oblivion until his boots blended in with the ground below him and thinking how well the two of them _had _known each other before the Journey of Regeneration. She actually tolerated him then. But of course, he hadn't been "Flirty, popular Chosen" then, either.

"How _did _we get here?" He asked himself a second time.

It had started when they were children. They had grown up together...she was the only real...substantial thing that he had in his life. He couldn't let that go away. Without his pillar of support...everything would come crashing down to the ground below. No more Chosen – No more Zelos. No more anything.

He absolutely couldn't have that happen.

"Well, I think I know...no, I know I know." He nodded to himself, forcing himself further forward.

-s-z-s-z-s-z-s-z-

"Do you see what we've done?" Sheena asked herself internally as she quietly passed by the market square. Of course, the other person in the term "we"…well, he wasn't around to answer the question.

"We've gone and made such fools of ourselves..." She answered aloud, shaking her head. At least she had. He was being true to his feelings. She hid from them like some cowering animal.

"Do you see what you've done?" She asked herself furiously. "You've gone and made such a fool of yourself! And what are you going to do about it? Nothing! You're going to go and yell at him, like you always do…!" Her hands clenched into fists at her sides as she stopped dead in the snow, looking upwards to help contain the tears threatening to drip from her brown eyes. She had, ever since she had known him, never once thought that it would come to this. She had always blamed him – convinced herself that it was _his _fault…that she had no part in any of it. But it wasn't true – the furthest thing from, in fact… He was the innocent in all of this…especially now. How could she go and accuse him of so many things at any time, not just late at night, out in the snow…

Through her mind's eye, she saw his expression, innocent and emotionless – blue eyes watching her intently like he had something to say, but was holding it back just enough to where you could see it everywhere but on his lips.

She couldn't believe she missed that.

She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before.

Sheena Fujibayashi broke into a run.

-s-z-s-z-s-z-s-z-

_There is something… I see in you…_

Once again, she slowed to a stop. The snow, by this time, had restricted most of her sight beyond directly in front of her, a light blanket of white acting as a translucent wall between her and her long-distance vision. She blinked once or twice, attempting to remove the small snowflakes perched in her eyelashes and hoping that she wouldn't have anything else to deter her from her real mission.

Then she saw him.

She didn't even realize it was him at first. She barely had noticed a figure off in the distance, covered by the snow, but flecks of pink and red showing through that. Her train of thought instantly came to a screeching halt when she realized that she no longer had any time to think.

She absent-mindedly stepped closer to him, opening her mouth a tiny bit as if to initiate conversation. She expected she would begin with something frivolous like "I'm cold…" or "How weird…meeting you here…"

But words in these situations were never appropriate.

She stared.

_It might kill m__e…_

He watched her carefully, stepping closer the moment after she did. He could see the sparkles of curiosity and wonder dapple her chocolate brown pupils as he took her hand, just as freezing than his, if not more so. She stepped slowly into his arms with no struggle at all, gazes latched together by some immovable force. His hand took hers as the other pushed a snow-dotted lock of hair from her face before wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, their eyes exchanging words that, if true, never truly needed to be said. Their lips pressed together in a clash of implied meanings – apologizing for all that she'd done and forgiving her for everything she'd said. It was time to start over – begin again, as they had so many times before.

…_I want it to be true…_

_

* * *

_

**Nexus: I suppose you **_**could **_**call this a songfic…I don't really think so though. I mean, yeah, the song's in there, but…sorta, not really. I don't know. Yeah, I guess it's a songfic. But not all of the lyrics are the same, so…maybe not. Anyway, I tried really hard to differentiate the past scenes from the present ones. I REALLY hope you can tell the difference, because I even put little page break things in there for you. :D**

**ANYWAY, whadja think? Review material? I hope so! :D R & R Pee-ell-zee? **


End file.
